Tuesday 11 October 2011

In your time of need

It is no secret that with the run up to the wedding all things diabetes fell by the wayside. It wasn't so much falling off my wagon as being well and truly run over by it! I carried on regardless, as we do, but only did the bare minimum just to get by. The problem is all the time I pay less attention the more blood sugar control - and subsequently the way I feel - starts to dwindle. And so the circle begins; you try less hard so the control begins to waiver, you get bad results so you test less, because you don't want to deal with the numbers. The less I test, the less I want to test. And so it continues. I think they call this, 'burn-out'. It is at times like these that I start to spend less time on the blog, less time thinking about diabetes and less time finding things I want to write about.




With a spare evening on my hands I decided to sit down and try to find something to write about. I read over some of my old posts, remembering how I felt when I wrote them down and seeing if that helped spring my mind into action. Alas, not.




So I decided to look over the comments section, just to see if anyone had stopped by and if so, whether they found my ramblings of any use. Turns out, this was all I needed to remember exactly why this is one of my favourite places to be. It can be easy to forget that people actually read this stuff, because to me it is just stuff I write down on a page. My thoughts and experiences. It can be easy to forget that most of the time we are thinking about diabetes together. We are laughing at it together. We are living it together. Just that we are, together.




Thank you to all those people who have stopped by recently. Because it turns out that while I was ignoring the blog and getting on with everything except diabetes, you were reading it and leaving me comments that remind me why I began this in the first place; because of my diabetes.




Despite my recent burying of head in sand, I don't find it hard to admit that diabetes has brought me a few good things; the odd funny hypo story, a fantastic excuse for why I'm being a grumpy old mare, a wicked sense of humour which enjoys a good security frisk at the airport only to see the look on the face of my frisker as they step back and eye me up and of course the best of all, the odd occasion when I am allowed to stuff my face and it happens to be the day my workmate has brought in her chocolate orange malteser cake (omnomnom). But the best thing by far is the people also doing daily battle with diabetes. Because even when I am ignoring the 'betes as much as possible, the people with whom I share so much are still around. As much as I sometimes wish the diabetes wasn't, I'm glad the people are.




Thanks for stopping by and thanks for leaving your thoughts. It was a hell of a welcome back!




AP

5 comments:

  1. Anna I created a blog...any advice you can give me would much appreciated!! I also do what you do, start running high, stop checking because your numbers are so disappointing. I hate it when I am high and cant figure out why and can't get it to come down. Sometimes I just way override my pump and take 5-10 units just because everything else hasn't worked. When I was planning my wedding my numbers were horrible too.

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  2. Fantastic!! What's your URL? I'd love to have a read of your story....

    I think we just have to remember that living with a chronic condition is a massive challenge that many don't have to face - and that deserves so much credit in itself!

    x

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  3. Oh I found it - Diabetes and Life right? Great Stuff! So glad you started one!

    AP

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  4. Hey Anna!
    I know what you mean; don't forget that numbers are just numbers and they are neither good nor bad. Stop doing blood tests and do blood glucose measurements instead. Its like checking the map. (I'm speaking to myself here too!)

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  5. Hey Lesley,

    Well said! I've never thought of it that way before. Thanks for the tip!

    AP

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