Medtronic 2nd Annual Bloggers Forum

About 15 months ago I began a project - this blog. I wrote my first post the night before the highly anticipated appointment at which I was due to attach to the insulin pump for the first time. Truth be told the thought of the cannulas, tubing, chunky pumps and being completely dependent on it made me very nervous. People I have met since hooking up for the first time seem to be excited about getting one but for me, it was a last resort. After years of continued failed attempts at obtaining any kind of 'control', I had admitted defeat and decided that this was the only way I would make it to adulthood (no comments please!) with all my limbs in tact and still able to read a book. So I waved my metaphorical white hankerchief in the air and accepted my fate. Before I'd even had a chance to get my first ever cannula change wrong, I was almost prettythat while my control may get better, the pump could well have been the end of my life as I knew it.

MAN I WAS WRONG!

The last year and a bit has been an enormous eye opener for me, including discovering my clapped out old body begin to repair itself thanks to improved blood sugar levels, meeting a diabetic community thriving in the face of adversity and inevitability and being lucky enough to be invited to some fantastic events, including joining (sort of) my friends Lee and Claudia on their 20km 'Diabetes Challenge' by wheelchair and bike raising money to give our shared condition the' V-sign' by completing a massive goal, diabetic aside. I never truly expected anyone to read my blog, seeing as it was effectively a slightly self-important public diary detailing me fumbling my way through cannula changes and kinked tubing. So to click on my blog today after a slightly embarassing amount of time away, to see that so far not only have I had 2675 clicks on my blog, of which I am sure 20 or so of those weren't even mine, but I am also number 2 on the google result list if you type in 'Insulin Independent'. I mean if that isn't acceptance I don't know what is!

Seriously though, the experiences I have been lucky enough to go through in the last year have been entirely humbling and have opened my world up so much more than I ever believed it could. I have met people with whom I know I will remain life-long friends, have met people young and old alike who have inspired me to work that little bit harder when it comes to blood sugar control, and have been lucky enough to do all this while staying fit and healkthy. Something us in Club-D can nevr take for granted. So when I was recently asked if I would like to take part in the Second annual Medtronic Bloggers forum, which is held in Geneva, I almost fell off my chair!

"Me? Really?" is what I asked myself for the first week or so, before it really sunk in.

Having now had a chance to read some of the blogs written by the other bloggers going, I feel fairly confident that Medtronic have in fact made some kind of massive clerical error and are a little too far down the line to correct it, but I love nothing more than to get in a room with other pancreatically defective people and talk about all things diabetes, so give me a pen and show me where to sign up!

More on this later!

The Microsoft way of thinking

It's no secret to anyone who reads my blog (or is 'friends' with me on Facebook) that I have been having a 'blip' diabetes wise lately. No big deal, everyone has them, right?

Well for me the odd blip here and there is normal. There will always be the days of miscalculated dinners, the biscuit which had more carbs than you thought, the stressful day at the office which renders your insulin all but useless and those days when you just can't figure out what went wrong. But this latest blip of mine seems to have not only lasted longer than normal and for the life of me, I have been simply unable to fathom it. My diet hasn't changed, my weight hasn't changed, my routine hasn't changed. Nada!

So for the past two weeks I have been stumbling from one frustrating blood test to the next, becoming more baffled and more irritated with each test, exercising my right to swear at random and sometimes inopportune moments (mainly at my desk with my boss in earshot). One minute I seem to be in the major hypos, the next I am having 'highs' even the most hardened drug addict would be phased by.

I guess the most frustrating thing about this last couple of weeks is that it was all too reminiscent of a life I thought I had left behind. A life which involved nothing but fear of the blood test machine, fear of complications and fear of my own body. Deep down I suppose I always knew that it wouldn't last forever, but being grown up about it and being able to see the wood for the trees can sometimes be hard, particularly when it is my body and my health at stake.

So this weekend I decided enough was enough; it was time for some drastic action. Not only to save my own sanity, but that of my poor facebook friends and family members who no doubt have barred me from ever being allowed to comment on their wall again, following my many desperate and harassed sounding status updates. I wonder how many people can delete you in one weekend, before you get an official warning about the content of your updates.

So, I decided if it was good enough for Bill Gates it was good enough for me. I quite literally turned it all off and on again.

That is, I unplugged my pump, dusted off my insulin pens and needles (having found a stash at the back of the diabetes cupboard) and brought it back to basics : I minimised my carbs to a very basic amount so that I could make fewer mistakes when it came to boluses, I didn't do any stressful exercise, I made sure I got a perfect amount of sleep, ate healthily and tried to stop testing my bloods so fanatically.

It must have been about 3 hours before I started to miss the pump; noticing that only being able to inject full units at a time is very difficult when you are eating low carb and sometimes a meal consists of 15 grams of carbs. Do you inject one or two units? With the pump it isn't an issue. With pens, it is.

Hello and [un]welcome back injecting in public! I had forgotten all about this beast of a task for a diabetic. I had never realised what a pain this was when I had to do it, but having joined the pumping club, I had obviously adjusted to the much easier way of life that was whipping out your pump or better still, notching up a couple of units on the remote control that is all possible on the pump. But it was not so on my 'days off'. Back with a vengeance was the 'do I go to the loo or inject in front of that woman who won't quit staring' dilemma. I had forgotten what a pain that was. And I think I have a new found appreciation of the ease of just tapping a few buttons.

Another thing I was reminded of very quickly, was that on a pump, you have exact knowledge of how much insulin you have in your system in any one time. When you first programme it, you tell the pump just how long your insulin takes to wear off (based on your own experiments). So if you test your blood glucose and find a nice big fat double digit staring at you, on a pump you can check to see how much 'active insulin' you still have in your system. Sometimes I ignore what the pump tells me, because if my sugars are up near the 20s, then it is pretty obvious that I need a whole bunch more. But if you are 12 or 13mmol, you really need to know how much active insulin you still have. If you have 5 units, it would be kind of silly to inject seeing as the active insulin will still be taking effect. It wasn't long after taking the pump off that I realised how useful this function is, and how much I must rely on it! Ever noticed how much you miss the clock on your kitchen wall when you have to take it down to get more batteries for it? Well it was a lot like that.

I'm sure that had I stayed off the pump for much longer I would have found a million things to 'miss'. But the fact is, 48 hours off the pump was enough for me. I got to spend a weekend without wires, batteries and a beeping chest and I got to have a couple of nights without having to wear my pump to bed. I got to feel 'normal' for a little while.

But it was never going to last. Within a couple of days I noticed even bigger swings than before, and not having the sound knowledge that I have with the pump, I re-connected yesterday and plugged back in to the Matrix. It's much nicer in 'there'. Safer, I guess.

Today I have somehow managed sugars between 4.1 and 8.4 mmol. I'm not sure what made the difference. Perhaps it was the low carb, perhaps it was cutting myself some slack and having some time without the pump, perhaps it was the natural end to the blip.

I have no idea - and knowing type 1 diabetes as well as I do, I don't think I ever will.

But what this little exercise did teach me is that I do like my pump, even when it can't solve all of my diabetic hassles.

I missed it, I needed it and I remembered why I like it.

Perhaps when it comes down to it, that's what I needed; to be reminded of why I do this on a daily basis.

Anna (7.7 and trying not to rock the boat!)

A rest is as good as a change

I consider myself to be someone who is normally pretty much on target when it comes to my diabetes. I manage to walk the fine line between paying close attention and obsession on a daily basis with relative ease, which helps me to achieve reasonable control of this confusing and sometimes almost comical condition. I have done this for 24 years now and it almost seems normal to me. As normal as type one diabetes can be anyway!


I haven't been sectioned yet (I must stress the word 'yet', it can't be far off these days), despite the constant calculations, second-guessing and sometimes sheer frustration that diabetes can throw at you, especially when it feels like Freddie Flintoff has just bowled a 90 mile an hourer at you while someone else distracts you with a giant Krispy Kreme. I am not someone who claims to have 'perfect' control, whatever that really is is. And I am not someone who says control is easy - because frankly - those people drive me crazy. Either they are lying or they are very, very, very, VERY lucky. I am not sure which of those I prefer to believe, but part of me hopes they are just lying. At least that way I may not be perfect, but my honesty is something I can be proud of, even if it means admitting that sometimes I get it wrong. Very, very wrong.


I have rambled on in the past about how I can have a bit of a Jeckyl and Hyde thing going on at times and unfortunately this week was one of those weeks. More so than ever. I have been managing blood sugar swings I imagine similar to that of an out of control sugar-crazed Oompa Loompa at Mister Wonkas factory. Before I went onto an insulin pump, I could see blood sugar swings in any one day ranging from 2 mmol to 32 mmol and spent most of my time terrified of the blood glucose meter. I would never know what it was going to tell me. Occasionally it would be in range, sometimes it was spot on but most of the time it would be wildly uncontrolled. Leaving me emotionally drained, frustrated beyond belief and scared of my future.

As soon as I started on the pump things got a whole lot better. Blood tests became more predictable and a whole lot less scary. For the first time I was able to expect more from my control and diabetes became something I could understand more clearly and dare I say it, embrace.

Over the last week, there have certainly been a few moments when I could have punched my pancreas in the imaginary head or stamped on my pump. Don't get me wrong, my pump is still doing just what I ask it to and I know that despite being a lazy-ass semi-useless organ only one step up from an appendix, too much time has gone by for me to really blame my pancreas anymore. I can admit that I'm still moderately bitter seeing as I didn't do anything to warrant it going on an extended holiday, but what's the point now, other than having the odd moment of blame?

Whatever the cause, I have decided to just unplug for a couple of days. I love my pump, and I love the freedom and quality or life it has given me. But 'it' isn't nice; it is not attractive or even easy to live with. It took a lot of adjusting to and there are moments when I tug in the wire or notice it protruding from under my clothing when I am reminded of just how much it takes to be prepared to do this forever. So when things are all up the shoot and I have no idea why, I feel the need to give myself a day off.

I know that when I am off the pump, I need to follow a much stricter low carb diet, have to keep a closer eye and that it is only a matter of 48 hours before I am desperate to get back on it again, because my sugars will have gone from bad to worse. But in my experience, sometimes you need a little reminder of why you reached this decision in the first place. I will be glad to get that tubey robot back plugged back in after two days, so maybe that is what this little episode is all about; learning to love my pump again.

Anyway, I will post again in a few days when I have no doubt thrown my testing kit at the wall [again] and will be gasping to get off the injections and back on the pumping way of life.

God knows I need a reminder of why at the moment!

Anna - tubeless for the first time in 11 months.

Are you getting your five a day?

Every day ‘we’ as a society are bombarded with images of what healthy should look like. It is a rarity these days to turn on the television and see a programme schedule that doesn’t include titles such as ‘Fat Families’, ‘Supersize versus Superskinny’, ‘Too fat for 15’ or ‘Biggest Loser’. It seems that over the years since the invasion of the junk food revolution, we have developed a kind of morbid fascination with the perils of being obese and now take pleasure in watching people as they journey through the trials and tribulations of re-educating themselves about what healthy is.

So, what is it? What do you think healthy is? Well, having been hooked on many of these programmes myself, the message I have taken is that ‘healthy’ would be a person who sits comfortably within a predetermined weight limit, eats around 5 portions of fruits and/or vegetables a day, consumes a balanced amount of carbohydrate, protein and dairy, exercises at least 4 - 5 times a week, doesn’t smoke, drinks a reasonably small amount and let’s not forget – avoids ‘processed’ foods as much as possible. I would also assume that I am probably not alone in thinking this seeing as most doctors, TVs shows and so-called 'experts' will highlight most of these points with some gusto.

The problem is - in my experience - ‘healthy’ for the average Joe and healthy for someone in Club-D are entirely different things. Yes, a person with diabetes should be exercising regularly. Yes, they should be avoiding processed foods. And yes, they should fall into what is considered a ‘normal’ weight (for no other reason that being hugely overweight or underweight would suggest either a surplus or deficit of something in your diet), but a pound here or there makes no difference.

But for me, the grey area starts when you begin to look at the whole fruit, carbs and protein equation. We all know that sugar raises your blood glucose. Common sense would say this is obvious really – consuming more sugar equals higher levels of sugar in the blood. Not really rocket science, is it? And it is for this reason that so many people (understandably) have a misconception that diabetics should simply avoid sugary food in order to keep levels of sugar in their blood on the lower side. But what is often forgotten - or on occasion not known to begin with – is that sugar is nothing more than carbohydrate in a simple form and in fact it is ANY carbohydrate that will increase blood glucose levels. This is where it gets confusing. Fruit for example, by any standards anywhere in the world is considered a healthy and natural food choice. But for a diabetic, fruit can be a complete nightmare, because it is absolutely packed with fructose (fruit sugar). The kind of blood sugar spikes that I have had after eating fruit has been astounding- not to mention extremely annoying – even after having weighed, calculated and injected for that one little piece of fruit. This is because fruit constains very 'fast acting' sugar, which is processed by the body very quickly. This means that no matter how well you calculate it, the insulin you are injecting to 'cover' that fruit, is unlikely to work at the same speed as the sugar, meaning a spike is almost certainly a guarantee.

Likewise potatoes, pasta and rice have an enormous effect on my blood sugar levels, despite being something often advocated as a ‘good source of energy’, and the only way I have found to successfully negotiate a meal with these kinds of food in, is to omit them from my diet all together. I have even discovered recently thanks to a lot of research and inter-surfing, that there are even large amounts of carbohydrates in vegetables! Onions for example - probably also a staple of your diet and the basis for many meals - have around 10g of carbs per average medium-sized onion. Granted you would be unlikely to eat a whole onion to yourself, but in our house we often have half each, which is around 5g per person. Seeing as I inject 1 unit per 10g of carbs, this is already half a unit of insulin I should be taking and potentially a blood sugar spike of 1 or 2 mmols. If you consider that in any one meal you would have at least 5 or 6 foods which make up the meal, many of which are vegetables which have lots of carbs, but are still in fact at the 'lower end' of powerful carbs, you are looking at some potentially big and problematic blood sugar spikes.

See for a diabetic, ‘healthy’ isn’t just about eating all the foods that doctors, dieticians and television shows so readily advocate. For those in Club-D, we also have the added issue of blood sugar levels. We have it constantly drilled into us that the primary measure of ‘healthy’ for us, is blood sugar control and that we should be aiming for blood glucose levels of 4-7mmol. Well that is all well and good, but when you are talking about a low fat-high carb diet, which is the way MOST newly diagnosed diabetics are guided, we are talking lots of food stuffs that will cause a big spike in sugars. Even in a non-diabetic, these types of food would cause the body to release large amounts of insulin in order to regulate their own blood sugar levels. The difference is, ‘we’ have to do this ourselves.

So what is the answer for PWDs (People with Diabetes)? Do we ignore popular medical opinion and eat low fact-high carb foods, which are notoriously difficult to estimate insulin requirement for (even when weighing our foods to the point of becoming mad!)? Or do we find another option?

Well, I have been on a bit of a journey of discovery lately. I will post about the different ‘diets’ I have tried lately as a way to ticking the final box when it comes to my diabetes management, but the last six months have shown me that it is not until you think ‘outside the box’ and start to embrace your own way of doing things that you really find the answer.

My conclusion from my experiments over the last few months is that the doctors don’t always know best and that you need to experiment with your own treatment rather than readily accept what you are told to do, just as I did for far, far too many years.

Safe Haven

Diabetes has always made me feel flawed . . . . like the human equivalent of a factory second.

I often go back to sleep and leave my lows untreated hoping diabetes will take my life and free my family from the burden of future complications.

I lie about my A1c results to my wife.

I'm afraid that one day at the same time I'll be planning my son's graduation and my daughter's funeral.

I wish my brother had diabetes too.

I'm a mom of a T1. I no longer want grandchildren. I don't want this disease passed on to another generation


The comments above were in response to a recent post written by Kerri Sparling, a well-known diabetes blogger, diabetes advocate and fellow ‘host’ of Type 1 diabetes herself, when she encouraged her readers to comment anonymously on her blog and disclose something they want the world to hear, while remaining unknown.

It was an opportunity to say something which has hidden away in your mind; too edgy, too taboo and too controversial to say out loud. It was an opportunity to just say something – anything - which people wanted to say. It was an opportunity to just put it ‘out there’ and allow the Universe to swallow it up.

A problem shared is a problem halved. Isn’t that how the saying goes?

I was expecting to see some heavy comments because lets face it, diabetes in the very nature of being a hidden, chronic and apparently ‘choosy’ condition, lends itself beautifully to ‘putting on a brave face’, tackling the ups and downs and cheerily telling people that “things are OK, thanks for asking”.

I mean really in how many situations can you turn around and say “you know what, I feel like I’m drowning in a world of information and failure”, when asked by a friend how you’re doing? Particularly as we live in a culture where ‘staying positive’ is so widely advocated and we all seem to feel this social and moral obligation to be seen to be coping with the disease.

But reading some of these comments made me ache; more than I imagined and more than I had prepared for. Many stopped me in my tracks and some brought me to tears.

Why?

I would love to be able to say that I felt sad for the people who wrote them; that my tears were ones of sympathy. But I think the real truth comes down to the fact that I can relate to many of the comments on Kerri’s blog. The reality is diabetes is tough. It takes no prisoners and can stop you in your tracks. It can make you feel alone and a little lost. It can take over your life.

This is why we need each other and this is why we need somewhere to let go of things we feel, think or need to say.

This is what this community is all about; having somewhere to do just that. I am glad that people were brave enough and courageous enough to say what they felt – no matter what it was.

I feel proud – once again – of the community we belong to and the honesty, strength and integrity we show each and every day we live with this condition. I also feel glad that the people who left these comments had an opportunity and a safe haven to do so.

The post.

Looking back: A year with a pump at my side

There are many things which will change your life. Literally. Choices you make and experiences you encounter can be both the making of you and the breaking of you. Perhaps these milestones are different for all of us, or perhpas we share many of the same. For those who have children the moment you conceived was no doubt a moment that changed the path of your life forever. For those who travelled, maybe the things you experienced while emersed in another culture will be the motivation that underpins some of your most crucial decisions in life. Perhaps a particularly good - or bad - relationship has changed the way you view your life and the expectations you hold because of what you learnt about yourself. But whether we all share the same 'moments' or not, one thing is for sure: For each and every one of us there are moments - not just one - but many, that change your life somehow, be it for better or worse.

For me, one such decision began to emerge in my mind in 2009. A seed - tiny and barely nurtured - was planted in my head while I was on a JIGSAW (Juggling Insulin for Goal Success and Well-being) course and involved something about an insulin pump and how useful they could be when you suffered with poorly controlled diabetes. Something which at the time, I rejected without a second thought. But this one little idea began to gather momentum and cause the curious button in my head to need pushing. At first, the thought of an insulin pump with its crude wires and constant glaring presence was something which repulsed me. Even disgusted me, dare I say it. How, when diabetes had already drained so much of my life could this BOX (!) solve any of my problems?

But that's the funny thing about a seed; even in the most harsh and hostile landscape a seed can flourish and develop into the the most breath-taking of plants.

That seed, nestled in my hostile head surrounded by negative thoughts and stubborn ignorance began to flourish. With the wonder of the internet at my fingertips, I nervously started looking up images of insulin pumps and finding forums to piggy-back on and see what people were saying about these pumps. Pretty soon, I stumbled across a blog which would water that seed in my head. This blog was written by a lady I could really associate with. She was my age, she was also diagnosed in 1986 and she was pregnant, which when it came down to it was the only reason I was willing to give this contraption a go. Because one day I wanted to bring a child into the world with the man I had come to love. This blog, was Six Until Me.

This blog was honest, open, beautifully written but most of all, real. The stories Kerri told were not about the horror of wearing a pump or the restrictions it placed on her life. In fact it didn't sound at all like she was mourning the loss of a former life, which was the way I felt when I thought about the pump. It talked of fashion, friends, the diabetic community (something I too was about to stumble on), the promise of a future and of the creation of a new healthy life - one her readers came to know as BSparl (her kiddo!).

It wasn't long before that button in my head began to throb again.

Push me, PUSH ME!

I'd estimate it was about a week after that I first emailed my DSN with a million pump-related questions in my head. My new found fascination with an insulin pump had begun. And once the idea was there - I wasn't about to forget it.

On the 25th January 2010, my life changed forever.

Attaching the pump initially was - I imagine - like watching a monkey use tools for the first time. I was 'all fingers and thumbs', shaking a little and convinced I was doing it all wrong. For the next 24 hours I had this immense awareness of my new pump, almost like when you get a new phone which barely leaves your hand - let alone your handbag - for the first few days after you get it. I started to navigate my way around the menu learning at the speed of light about boluses, basals, daily totals and carb ratios. I imagine you would learn slower if you joined NASA or MI5! But nevertheless, something which only 6 months before had terrified and repulsed me, became interesting and engaging. I started talking to my friends and family about the pump, tricking them into guessing where it was hidden today, because unlike my mistakenly ignorant first impression, the pump can be hidden, isn't a monstrosity and doesn't take over your life.

But no one can go through this alone and surrounded by my team of supporters, I began to explain the pump to anyone around me who would listen. My fiance, who had to earn his degree at the University of Insulin Pumping pretty darn quick, took this challenge in his stride, learning terminology like cannula, bolus and "Darn, I didn't re-fill before we came out!", quicker than you can say 'I love ya'. My mother, who for years held me up when I couldn't manage myself, took delight in hearing that I was reaching my pre-pump goals for the first time in 20 years. My friends, who I have no doubt were intially freaked out by the idea (mostly because their faces told me just that), could not have been more supportive or accepting, when it came to me whipping an insulin pump out from my chesty area!

Before long my own blog, one which began as a project to help me negotiate the psychological and emotional adaption that life on a pump requires, began to connect me with my own diabetic community. It led me to the Diabetes UK facebook site, which in turn led me to some of the most talented, creative, positive and go-getter type people you could imagine. Some shared my story, some had a whole different perspective on things. Either way, I went from being someone terrified and beaten down by my own condition, to someone feeling more in control than in the previous 23 years of having diabetes. I began to learn that blood glucose testing didn't have to be about pot luck. I began to learn that waking up in the morning having had a good night's sleep without hypos, hypers, loo visits and fridge raiding, was something everyone - even me - could expect. No, could demand!

I also began to learn that I was allowed to have far higher expectations of what my range of blood sugars could be. When people used to tell me that us diabetics should be aiming for 4-7mmol (80 -120 mg/dl) I would have laughed (and cried a little, inside), because in my whole adult life I had never had a day, let alone a week when I had acheived those kinds of numbers. At my very best clawing at 'control' with every last shred of energy I could muster, I had never achieved an HbA1c of less than 9.6%. Within 6 months, this had fallen to 8.2%. And I use the word 'fallen' because I wasn't doing any more than normal. Granted, I had begun doing more tests, but tests alone won't change anything. This, had happened simply as a result of my pump. My last A1c was 7.9%, and with the kind of readings I have been having in the last 2 months thanks to adapting my diet to a lower carb system, I have every confidence in the world that my next A1c will be in target.

The last year of my life has been a roller coaster. I have learned about the triumphs of conquering goals I thought were impossible to reach and how it feels to give diabetes a swift kick in the stomach, just as it did to me for all those years. I have learned about the pitfalls of kinked cannulas and packing for holiday with what feels like the worlds biggest collection of diabetes supplies, just in case armageddon comes a knocking.

But the greatest and most significant lesson I've learned, is that there is a vast community out there experiencing all of those highs and lows that kept me in a dark and isolated place for so many years. The friends I have made in the last year and those relationships strengthened by people's acceptance and even interest in this pump and how it has changed my life is a lesson that has changed my life forever. And for the better, much, much better.

I can only hope that the next few years of my life, as I plan my own family and move on into new and daunting challenges, will bring me even half as much knowledge and excitement as the last year has. I can only hope that my circles of friendship will expand beyond those I have already found. I can only hope that this disease which for the first time in my life I feel I have conquered, will bring me as much as it has in the last year.

I am thankful that I no longer feel like the pump is a contraption, a box or a hindrance. Quite the opposite in fact, it is part of me. It is a significant part of me, as it has helped me have the quality of life I deserve and has allowed me to grow, flourish and enjoy life again. I am also thankful that having just passed two enormous milestones, those being 24 years of having diabetes and of having celebrated my first anniversary of joining the 'pumping club', I can honestly say that the latter came from one of the best decisions I ever made.

I am thankful for what I have discovered, conquered and experienced - even in the face of the adversity that comes with this condition.

My condition.

Our condition.

Upsetting the Apple Cart

About 6 weeks ago I posted a blog about my recent experiences with Omnipod, after I had made some enquiries about the demo pod and received a string of long and frustrating episodes of silence.

In this blog, I detailed why my experiences so far with Medtronic had left me very secure in the knowledge that first impressions mean a lot. My first impression of Medtronic was great. My second experience was fantastic. My subsequent experiences, unmatchable. I decided that as I had never experienced an Omnipod, or had any idea of their customer service, I would stay with Medtronic because wires or no wires - I trust them.

Things have become a little confusing.

Around 3 weeks ago, just before Christmas, one of the bods from Omnipod US contacted me to say that he had just received my email (the one I sent them saying how disappointed I was that I had been unable to even obtain a demo kit, let alone have a conversation about the option of switching systems) and that he was extremely disappointed in the service I had received.

I should think so, to be honest.

In the email, he detailed some issues (all plausible) they had been facing with the demo pods and said that he was keen to send me one. His email was friendly but professional and the length of the response and managerial status of the person sending, showed me that my email had not been taken lightly.

Thank you, it was good to get a response, even if a 'little' late.

I explained that as grateful as I was, my time was up on choosing my pump and after having such a shakey start, I felt safer staying with my current company. I may be biased but in truth, Medtronic can do little wrong in my eyes, after helping me squeeze and wriggle my way out of several close scrapes (including sending me equipment at last minute, calling me back in a moment of hyperglycaemic 'fuzz' and walking me through the problems with kinked cannulas). But nevertheless, the previously silent company have now maintained a respectable level of communication, and have never been more than a day away in terms of replies to emails, and on one occasion chased me up on something. Good enough for me, Omnipod.

We continued to exchange emails as the team there seem to be very keen to send me the kit, probably because they know that once I have seen it I will be 'sold'. THIS was the kind of response I was expecting back in August when I sent of my first request.

Anyway, to cut a long story short[ish], after a number of emails and after me trying to explain that it may well be too late, I arrived home tonight to find a package waiting for me. Is it an Olive branch or a sales ploy? Not sure, but either way I knew what it was.

Everyone loves a package at the doorstep, right?

I tried my hardest not to get too excited, knowing that no matter how pretty or tubeless it is, I still stand by my words that I am a little nervous about what level of service I would receive if I had a problem.

Well folks, I am in big trouble. I was expecting something similar to my Medtronic pump, which I always thought was small, but it does have to house an AAA battery, a computer, 3ml of insulin and a host of other parts which make it work so seamlessly -most of the time - so it can only be 'so' small. I have always had a mix of responses to my pump. Some people seem surprised that it is so small, some people shocked at the size.

This, had me shocked. I will take a photo to include in my next post, because I will damn sure be giving this a spin, but to give you an idea, the 'pod' is about three quarters the width of my pump, about three quarters the length of my pump and a little thinner too. Next to an iPhone, it is exactly the same length as the smaller side of of an iPhone, and about a third of the length.

In other words - it is small!

It is currently sat next to me, still encased in it's packaging, because as keen as I am to try it out for size, I am very nervous about liking it too much. I wasn't lying or trying to 'fob off' Omnipod when I told them it was too late, there is a good chance my pump has been purchased, meaning I am too late for the boat this time. I also wasn't lying when I expressed how unsure I was about the whole level of customer service issue. I was, and still am concerned, that I could leave a very wonderful company for one I have yet to be convinced by.

But I am also sat here with the future of insulin pumping beside me. It has no tubing, is small and discrete and no one would have a clue what it was. I wouldn't have to tug on the tubing during the night or worry about bubbles getting in, because according the Omnipod website, the pump primes itself.

It could also be just out of my reach, for at least the next three years.

I am completely torn about what my next step is. I will try it out, because as small as it looks, it IS fixed to the skin, meaning where ever it is, it stays. My current infusion site is fixed, but it is also almost flat against the skin and I know all too well what a hassle it is when I lean against something.

I guess the next 3 days will be a real turning point for me. it will either determine whether or not this pump is the future for me or whether my head - which is with Medtronic - may want to take that risk and go with the Pod system.

Perhaps the customer service was down to that one rep, who to this day appears to be uncontactable by any normal means. Perhaps on the other hand, it is a good insight into what kind of service I cold receive if things went wrong.

Right now my heart says Omnipod, and my head says Medtronic.

That is a hell of a choice to be faced with. And one I thought was done and dusted.